fufck

i can't do this by myself.

...

drunkards have their alcohol.
smokers have their cigs.
hardcore Christians have God.

the rest of us have...?

sometimes

you wonder why you do the things you do
you wonder why you spend time with the people you're with
you wonder who really cares
you wonder why you waste time
you wonder why you take the time out of your busy schedule to try to actually feel something only to feel something not that great and wish you just stayed in that cycle of a numb & busy life...

...

thanks.

you better shape up

feeling moody

I'm not quite sure what's wrong w/ me, but I've been feeling hella emotional lately. sldfjdsf!

Side note: I don't think girls will ever be satisfied with guys' reactions post break ups. If they mope, they're weaksauce; if they don't care, they're jerks.

Differences...

Dancing Through Life...

Oddly enough... as uncomfortable as I feel dancing, I feel like that's what's happening. Right now I feel like I'm just floating through waiting for the next big event... constantly looking forward to what's coming up.

I don't like it.

I hate the feeling of looking forward to something, feeling the excitement and expectations build up only to be disappointed.

[/pessimism?]

It was a long weekend. Did it go as I expected it to? Not quite. Didn't accomplish nearly as much hw as I had planned, didn't make the phone calls I planned to make, didn't achieve legendary status in much...

I don't like blogging just to complain, though, but I guess I'm still complaining cuz my epiphany hasn't struck me yet.

It was a long weekend. It was a good break from the busy-ness of my everyday life, yet it still felt so empty.

What's the point of doing something if you're just waiting for it to be over?

Maybe I'm just lacking the proper dosage of psychatude.



There ya go. [HIMYM season 01 ep 11]

camera

congratulations!
you are now...

...on camera.
in the shoes you chose
now everyone knows
who you are
what you look like
what you do
and it's captured
etched into eyes
ingrained into minds

like it or not
that's how it is

the spotlight shines

all eyes on you

the big things
the little things

save a life
snap a neck

who are you in their eyes?
the one to push them away?
or the one to draw them in?
walk across the room

people are different
but how will you deal with that

you are now ...?

gender reversal

Sometimes guys can act like girls.

Sometimes girls can be men.

No, I'm not talking about transvestites or sex changes.

Point: Be a "man" and handle your sh*t.

new

Hello 2007!

So 2006 was definitely a new year. New hair cuts, new responsibilities, new boyfriend, new internship, new experiences, new drama... There were gains--new phone, new car--yet also losses--lost phone, crashed car. All in all, it was one heck of a year.

It went by so quickly.

I've definitely changed a lot in the past year; hopefully I've grown in a better direction. This year, I definitely hope to grow into the person I want to be. I know that sounds generic, but I hope to make a more conscious effort to do so. Too many times I haven't been aware of myself or my actions. So this year, I want to be more aware of myself, my surroundings, others, and hopefully, others wants/needs. ::phew::

Another thing that I know is totally gonna kick my ass: do what I say. Many times I say I'll do this, I'll do that. Not often enough do I follow through on that. There are a lot of ambitious people out there (not that I count myself among them) but many times those ambitions aren't realized. This resolution hopefully gets me to 1. be more careful about what I say and 2. make sure I do what I say. Integrity. That is definitely a loaded word.

This is the year. Filled with new optimism, some ambition, and drive, I can totally do. Do what? Anything. Well, not anything, but what I need/want to accomplish is totally doable. I just need the push. How will I know limits from lies if I never try, right? It's doable.

This is the year to be Ted. No, not the Ted that plans out everything and over-thinks all the time. This is the year to be the Ted that does. "Jump off the ledge." Get the purple giraffe.